This week I wasn’t focused so much on trendy hemlines, hot new arrivals, or how designers are styling their spring 2022 collections (shocking, I know). Instead, I’m focused on a much different concept and one that we can all relate to – failure. I feel like this word needs to be written with dark clouds over top of it or something. The dreaded word… 🌩️ failure 🌩️. It’s something we’ve all done at some point and will continue to do throughout the rest of our lives, yet is something we don’t often talk about amongst each other. Why is that? 

 

Is it because we don’t like to appear vulnerable or sensitive? Or perhaps we are too prideful and it’s demoralizing to accept a downfall? Maybe we are just scared? Instead of talking about the reality of failure, we tend to mask it and try to make it motivational by throwing up a photo of a beautiful landscape like mountains or a body of water with a statement like, “Failure is essential for growth” or “There is no failure in life, you either succeed or you learn”. Similar to the below picture: 

It’s kind of bullshit if you ask me. There is absolutely failure in life. I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve seen pictures like this all over social media following some sort of failure. If you actually sit back and think about what you’re looking at, I don’t find it as inspiring or motivational as it’s intended to be. Failure is not typically a pretty thing, not for me anyway. It usually includes tears, frowns, and a lot of self doubt, which is not captured in the picture above. I never see sunsets or mountains or bodies of water during my failures. Just like other hard topics in life, social media will try and paint it into a prettier picture than it is. But that’s not real life to me.   

 

I recently put a lot of time and energy into something new that I had never done before and it failed. And it wasn’t like a cute, little oopsies… it was an epic fail. I spent a full week prepping and preparing and it was a total bust. The worst part is that I was not anticipating it to fail. In fact, I really thought it was going to be a hit. A success even – I was excited. But it’s those surprise failures that really get you – they make you question yourself and reevaluate what you’re doing and where you’re going. I became so discouraged that I questioned my entire blog. It made me question all the work I’ve already put into it. It made me want to run and hide until it was all over. To put it bluntly, it sucks.

 

But if failure really is the way to success, then let’s talk! Let’s normalize how much failing sucks. Let’s talk, share, and learn about it and the different stages we go through with failure. Of course some failures are bigger and worse than others, but alas, it’s still a feeling we are all far too familiar with. It’s normal. 

 

I’m not a professional by any means, but here are some ways that I try to move past my failures:

1)

Acknowledge how you feel – If you’re mad, be mad. If you’re sad, be sad. Like I said, failure sucks and it’s not usually a good feeling. Accepting and acknowledging how you really feel is the first step to how you deal with everything else. 

2)

Talk to someone – I’m the type of person who lets my thoughts eat me alive sometimes. When I have failed, I find it so helpful to vent or simply just talk about the issue and get another perspective on the situation. You’d be surprised with who has been through similar failures.

3)

Reflect – What did you learn? There is almost always a lesson that comes out of failure. Understanding the why is important. Ask yourself what it is and use that information to your advantage moving forward.

4)

Forgive yourself – Failure is bound to happen. It happens to everyone. Find it in yourself to forgive, as hard as it may be.

5)

Yin & Yang – Once I’ve forgiven myself and moved onto the reflection stage, I like to remember the concept of yin & yang. You can’t appreciate the good things without understanding or experiencing the bad things (failures).

 

I guess what I’m trying to say is that as much as failing sucks, it’s normal. Yes it’s discouraging and yes it’s annoying, but it’s actually a step in the right direction as backwards as that sounds. Very few people succeed in their first attempt at something, and we all have to remember that. 

 

Will I still get upset the next time I fail? Absolutely, that’s just who I am and I’ve accepted that. But at least I feel a wee bit stronger to push through and not give up while learning each step of the way. 

 

Here’s to failing, friends!!

 

Until next hump day…

Peace & love!

TL